Winter Wonder Land

Well, here we are again, another year has come and gone and winter is fully here in the town of Talent. Soon it will be my birthday and the next thing I’ll know it’ll be summer. Time just keeps speeding up the older I get and I feel like I’m trying to catch up and jump on.

Although I have never been one to make resolutions, I do make promises to myself to create change when things are just not going the way they should. So here I am to tell the world- I am going to be better to my body from now on and therefore feel better about myself and the world in general. I am going to eat better, get more exercise, and lose some of the 40lbs. I’ve gained since moving out West nearly ten years ago. Because lately I just haven’t been liking who I see in the mirror at all, and that’s not just about my appearance. I know when I don’t feel good it affects everything and everyone in my life and it’s time to turn that around once again and get back on track. As my friends and readers, I need your support! I need encouraging words and kind actions, and a lot of patience and help. I have been lucky thus far in my life to never have dieted in any real way. Aside from borderline anorexia in high school when I seemed to think my concave belly was “huge” and my skin was “fat”, I have always been around the same weight until I hit 37. And then everything changed. Bad things happened and my self-esteem went south and it’s been on a downward slide for years. The monster Fear set up permanent shop in my head and heart and I need to boot that sucker out in the cold once and for all!

Tomorrow I am joining the local gym. Not because it’s January. Because it’s time. And I HATE gyms. Most folks do I think, even those who go to them regularly. And that’s okay. I don’t have to like it, I just have to show up there. It’s the getting in the door that’s always so hard for me. Once I’m there, I’m fine. And I will keep getting in the door. I’ve promised myself. Even if it means giving up going to the coffeehouse everyday so I can afford the membership. Even if it means going without seeing my community as much for a while, it will happen. And I am going to hate it. And I am going to do it anyway. So there!

I will reward myself after I lose 5lbs.

Not sure how yet, maybe a sushi dinner…mmm…sushi…

Crap. Now I’m hungry.

And not a carrot to be had…

Advertisements